Do you find yourself working hard in dating, relationships, or marriage?Are you thinking of ways you can prove to a man what a great woman
I talk with women all the time who have the urge to prove their worth to a man by putting his needs first while minimizing or completely ignoring their own.
If you feel like you are doing all of the work while he just sits back and watches, I can relate.
When my marriage started to unravel and my husband pulled away,
I completely went into overdrive.
I did everything to try and show him that I was worthy of his love.
I found myself doing his errands, making elaborate dinners,
initiating plans, contributing more financially than I was able, and
initiating all intimacy and conversation.
My emotions were usually a cycle of resentment and fear.
I never felt secure or loved. No matter what I did and no matter how hard I worked, I always felt like it wasn’t enough.
He didn’t seem to notice or care.
He was doing nothing except sitting back allowing me do everything on my own.
He definitely did not seem happy either.
How to know if you are doing too much:
You always put your own needs last.
You initiate most of the intimacy, conversation, and compliments.
You find yourself accommodating his schedule or working around his
plans- even if it means cancelling your own.
You plan the dates, and find yourself doing the driving and paying more often than you feel comfortable with.
Spending a lot of money or planning elaborate celebrations on special
Stepping in to solve his problems without him asking
In my marriage, I wanted my husband to know what an incredible
partner I was, and to see how I was irreplaceable.
This is not how it works though.
Masculine energy men lose all motivation, attraction, and drive to push
the relationship forward when we do it all and give too much.
This is because when a woman gives from a place of low self worth or trying to prove herself to a man, she is destroying the attraction and drive.
She is telling him she is not worthy through her actions, and she is
reacting to her own fears.
Masculine energy men like to work in the relationship, so when we do
everything, the intimacy is destroyed.
Masculine energy men fall in love when they are giving to the feminine
who is in the receptive mode.
If we are the ones giving, we are in our masculine energy taking over his role.
This isn’t something he is actively thinking about while it is occurring.
He just knows that something feels “off” and that he doesn’t feel at a gut
level that she is the one for him.
When a man has lost the attraction, he has lost his motivation and drive
to make her happy.
The relationship starts to sit there like a deflated ball on the ground.
Everyone involved feels unloved, unappreciated, hurt, and resentful.
What turns this around?
As a woman learns how to create space and RECEIVE from a man, she
increases the attraction and reignites his drive to push the relationship
forward and make her happy.
Practice Receiving There are so many opportunities to receive!
If you are out and about, notice how men want to go out of their way for you.
This could be a man holding the door open, or saying hello.
I remember I used to grab the door and say “I’ve got it.”
I couldn’t even let a man hold the door open without blocking my ability
Now I smile and say thank you. I feel happier and he does too.
It is a win-win when we learn how to receive with ease and joy.
2. Practice meeting your own emotional needs
You do this by giving yourself the approval you are seeking from him.
If you are looking for his approval or validation, bring awareness to this
so you can fill yourself up.
It is not your responsibility to carry the relationship alone.
Let go of being the one to take responsibility for making sure everything
Learning to let go and not hold on so tight.
This starts with awareness and turning our focus back onto ourselves so we take responsibility for our own happiness.
3. Stop and shift the behavior
Start to bring in awareness, and make the decision to no longer do everything.
This will feel very strange at first.
If you were the one doing the cooking, errands, cleaning, driving,
planning, coordination, etc. this will likely feel very uncomfortable.
He will notice this.
He has become used to you being the one to take care of everything so
this will be an adjustment.
He may ask why things aren’t getting done, or express anger.
This is where we share our truth in a way where he will hear:
“I have been feeling so overwhelmed, I want to feel less stressed.”
4. Allow him to GIVE to you.
As we learn to surrender control and stop doing everything, a masculine energy man is going to naturally want to step up!
Since you have now been practicing step #1 of receiving from others, you now feel more comfortable receiving from him.
As he steps up and does ANYTHING to bring you joy that he does not have to do- practice accepting this from him and expressing how happy it makes you!
Soften into your feminine and know that it’s not your job to do it all.
Allowing him to give to you and being able to communicate how happy
he makes you using feeling messages will only make him want to work even harder to continue to contribute to that joy.
Giving too much blocks us from being able to receive the love we are
If this resonates with you- I can help you turn your situation around.
Email me here to book your no obligation, free discovery session.
This will give you immediate tools to bring the attraction back and ignite his drive to do the work in the relationship.
For additional tools to get your love life on track, get my report and