When we try to control and all of our energy is on our man and what he is or isn’t doing, we are often tempted to ask that “innocent” question to get more information.
We think that we are fooling him into thinking that we are not energetically completely focused on him and that the question is “casual” or “light.”
The thing with this is- we are not fooling him!!!! Asking the innocent question is STILL about control and trust me, he FEELS that.
It does not allow him to feel safe, free, or respected.
I remember that I used to feel so clever in asking that innocent question. “Oh… Where did you go, and who was there?”
He did not like this casual form of interrogation and saw right through it! I got short, curt answers. So I would prompt with MORE “innocent” questions. This did not go well! He pulled away and shared even less.
How would it be for the next time you want to ask that innocent question to say… Hmmm, I’m not going there and I now need to go turn towards something to make me feel good.
In this, he will have the space to come towards you and share with you, without you having to ask a single thing. He will feel safe to open up and connect with you because he will FEEL that you trust him and have your own things going on too!
Trusting our man and not controlling is truly what brings him close!
As always, I would love to hear how this feels for you!