I often hear from women that no matter what they do, the same type of guy keeps showing up. 

This can be discovered after only a few dates, or we can find ourselves in a serious relationship with a man that suddenly feels very similar to a relationship we’ve had in the past. 

I will often hear:
Why does the same thing keep happening?
Why aren’t there any good guys out there?
Why won’t this happen for me?
What am I doing wrong?

It can often feel like there aren’t any  good guys out there, but consider deep down, that we know this isn’t true.

We know in those fleeting moments that he’s out there somewhere. 

We see it all around us.

We see friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances all around us, committing to the man of their dreams.
It can create so much anxiety and cause us to feel so frustrated and triggered.

We ask ourselves, what does she have that I don’t?

Why is it “working” for everyone else, but not for me?

The truth is, when it comes to love, we often seek it from all the wrong places.

We often seek it outside of ourselves instead of tuning into what’s going on inside that’s preventing us from attracting the high quality man that we know deep down we deserve. 

This is again all about energy.
We can’t attract the man we want if we’re on a different vibrational frequency. 

 

We’ve all heard that like attracts like.
The love we want  is so much less about how we look, and so much more about the energy we’re putting out there.
We have to treat love as an inside job, so that we can attract that high quality man of our dreams. 

 

If we haven’t done the deeper work of learning how to love, accept, and forgive ourselves, we’re not at the same energetic level as a man who has the qualities we’re searching for. 

 

I remember in many of my relationships, including my early years of marriage,  I would try to “get” love from all the wrong places. 

I focused on how I looked, my diet, my exercise routine, how smart or witty I could prove I was, pretty much anything else outside of myself that I considered impressive or an accomplishment. 

Underneath this though was a lot of negative emotion.
I had so much insecurity and inner criticism guiding my actions! 
While it’s great to take care of ourselves and accomplish the things we want in life, it’s important to create an awareness around where that desire is coming from.

If it comes from a place of trying to prove our value or earn love and acceptance, we will always feel we’re coming up short. 
If we don’t build that love, compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance from the inside, we’ll always feel like we’re attracting that same energy right back to us, and that we just can’t find a man who loves and accepts us fully for who we are.
It will feel impossible to feel like we can attract a high quality man that can love us just as we are, without any conditions around it. 
Just like when we are on a date, we can pick up on a man’s energy pretty quickly. 

We can sense how confident and secure a man is with himself.
He’s not telling us, we simply feel it. 

The more confident and secure a man is, the more attractive he is to us.
This is the same energy that men sense when they’re with a woman who hasn’t learned how to love and accept herself. 
The good news is that we can change this quickly!
As we start bringing some awareness around this energy exchange, we can get more intentional in manifesting the man we want with all of the qualities we’ve been searching for.
It starts to then feel effortless and fun!

This is how we create that shift into being the high value woman a quality man will do anything for.  

Three Ways To Attract A High Quality Man

1. Create Self-Awareness
Practice turning inward to check in with yourself on a regular basis.
Not to judge or beat up on yourself, but to ask yourself, where can I soften and lighten some today?
What are some of my patterns, or ways that I push love away?
Some examples of this are:
Tone of voice
Body language
Defensiveness
Negative messages when we communicate with him or with ourselves

If we’re feeling threatened, insecure, or scared, it’s about creating some awareness around that and going deeper.
Instead of reacting to those emotions, we want to be still with them and share them in an authentic way where he can actually hear it. 
Example:
He makes a comment that feels inconsiderate or dismissive.

 

Instead of responding with defensiveness or reacting right away, be still with it long enough to check in with what’s underneath your initial response. 

Then share from that space:
“ I want to feel heard and supported when I share how I’m feeling.”

See the difference in communicating from a space of awareness vs defensiveness? 
This will create huge shifts in building our own self love as well as in the quality of men that show up in your life!

 

  1. Move Closer Toward The Frequency He Is On

  This is about moving towards creating the qualities we want in a partner, within ourselves. 

If we want a man who is loving, thoughtful, compassionate, and forgiving, we actually have to practice it daily in our own lives. 
What are some ways to move towards this? I’ll share three ideas below:

 

  1. Don’t speak negatively about yourself, others, or men. We want to shift the vibration, we are attracting so this starts with getting off that negative train of thought. 

 2. Notice your tone of voice when interacting with others. Create some awareness and soften it even more so that you’re feeling loving, generous, patient, and compassionate. Practice this daily to move closer to attracting this right back to you quickly. 

 3. Build happiness within by shifting your thinking. This means catching when you are indulging negative thinking. Catch it and redirect it to something that feels better, so that you remain hopeful, confident, and secure within yourself and all the love you deserve. 

  3. Explore The Resistance

If you’re used to being reactive or defensive- go a little deeper again. 

Allow yourself to feel into it, instead of burying it or letting it lead you. 

Difficult emotions pass, trust that they won’t last forever.
When we learn to trust that, we feel less of a need to react immediately to things and say something we know we’ll regret later. 

A woman who can manage strong emotions, is so attractive and on a higher level of frequency. 
She is grounded and rooted in her power vs. flying off at a whim, being at the mercy of what others do or don’t do. 
I have clients share all the time, that they never knew how easy it could be to attract a high quality man!
This is no different for you. 

If you’re suffering from the pain of a broken relationship, or enduring all the back and forth of a man pulling away and emotionally disappearing…

My new Get Your Ex Back program will help you quickly.

  There is hope!

This program includes one week of email coaching!

 

Just go here to download the video, Get Your Ex Back Manual and worksheets, and I will email you to begin our week of personal email coaching to get your love life back on track the way you want it!

 

Love, 
Jen

 PS: Get Your Love Life Back On Track free report and newsletters below!