I dated an ex that I was in love with on and off two years before I met my husband.
He didn’t try to move the relationship forward, he never talked about the future or commitment.
I was exclusive with him for well over a year.
I held on for such a long time, fully committed, fully invested, but nothing ever happened.
Nothing was moving.
He seemed so content just as we were.
Meanwhile, I felt like I was in limbo, fearful I was wasting my time, scared to leave, and scared to stay.
I eventually reached a point where I just knew he wasn’t able to give me the level of commitment I wanted, so I left.
I found the strength on my birthday to put myself first after he demonstrated minimal effort to make the day special.
That was IT for me!
I was broken hearted.
He emailed me for months after and also texted me, to say “hi” but didn’t have anything REAL to say so I did no contact for a full year.
During that time I unknowingly healed.
I knew that the relationship was not going to work unless he had something REAL to say.
I stopped waiting for him to step up.
I made the decision to move on with my life.
I didn’t want it this way, but I reached a point where I knew I had to put myself first.
I was sick of waiting and feeling like his needs were more important than my own.
I knew deep down that I had to finally let go, and release the relationship.
Over the course of that year, I met my now husband.
Right before I got engaged, he reached out and emailed me with something to say.
He emailed me saying I was the one and he wanted to commit to me.
He said that didn’t want me to get away.
By that point though I had moved on, but I realized energetically I had become the women he wanted.
He needed to FEEL it, not hear it. He suddenly out of nowhere wanted to give me the world.
It doesn’t have to turn out like this!
What if you knew how to become that woman while in the relationship?
That you don’t have to take drastic measures for him to feel that you’re the one?
For him to be inspired to move it forward?
Three Ways To Inspire Him To Step Up
- Let go.
Yes, I know this feels completely counter-intuitive.
When we release and let go of needing him and the relationship so much, the whole dynamic changes.
We change the energy by putting the focus back on ourselves and what we love to do!
What did you do before you were consumed by the relationship?
Were you a painter?
Did you dance, sing, play an instrument?
Did you go to meet up groups or have regular weekly outings with friends?
As we learn how to give ourselves our own joy, the less we will look to him to fill us up.
2. Write It Down With Emotion
Write down what it is you do want, not what you don’t want. Allow yourself to really feel into it.
“I want him to initiate.”
This is not going to invoke much emotion or allow you to really feel into it.
Change that to:
It would feel so incredible if he planned a date and took care of all the details. I will feel so loved and so special. I can actually feel his love coming towards me.
Really allow yourself to go there with your emotions. This is going to inspire you so much more than just making a list.
3. Give To Yourself
Instead of thinking about what he wants, he needs, or what he is thinking about- give all that energy back to yourself again.
This means something as simple as going out and getting a manicure, a latte, reading a good book, etc.
This is about not worrying so much about “managing” the relationship or keeping him happy and instead put all that energy back on you.
As we give ourselves permission again to feel beautiful, sensual, and claim our own worth again- we shift away from needing any of this from him.
In turn, he feels that and can’t wait to give it to us.
I am confident I can help you identify ways to inspire him back by making changes in your daily routine.
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