One of the most common mistakes that we can make in expressing our feelings to a man is making it his fault.
We don’t intend to do this, but often the way we communicate can cause a man to completely shut down if our language puts the focus on him.
The feminine is all about FEELING. It is also about our actions MATCHING our feelings. So, if you are angry, don’t “pretend” to be happy to avoid rocking the boat.
Men see through this and it causes him to feel uneasy, or to want to get away from the energy because it does not allow him to feel safe.
He may not know why he doesn’t want to be around you, or feels uneasy, but he can sense this and it will not allow him to feel safe enough to relax.
If we can’t manage our OWN emotions, how would he ever feel comfortable trying to CONNECT with us when we are feeling mad, sad, frustrated, etc.
I remember with my man, I would not want to rock the boat, or show my frustrations or anger because I was scared it would cost me intimacy.
I didn’t understand that my lack of authenticity and lack of just being real was what was costing me intimacy.
There is a way to EXPRESS everything we want to get off our chest to a man, we just have to keep the focus on ourselves.
Instead of “I don’t like when you do that”…how about “I feel frustrated when plans change at the last minute.”
See how the second is all about how your feeling and has nothing to do with him? That you are not controlling him, or telling him what to do in any way but are simply expressing YOUR feelings?
He can totally respect that! He will also hear it! I remember once I learned to communicate in a way that was not accusatory, controlling, or filled with expectations and disappointment- EVERYTHING changed.
NOW…I can talk to my man about anything while at the same time INSPIRING more intimacy and connection, EVEN when I am angry and sad.
Let me know how this feels for you!