I work with many women who share with me that everything in the very beginning of the relationship they have with a man everything was amazing. I often hear that he was so attentive, connected, romantic, motivated, etc. He did all of the calling, planning, texting, etc. He took the LEAD and we just got to relax and enjoy all of it.
Then after a few months something often changes. We find insecurity seeping in, we start to reach out more, we find ourselves asking questions, feeling suspicious, and perhaps consumed with thinking of him. We start wondering why there is this sudden shift.
So then we start working hard. We start taking action. We start to initiate the calls, texts, emails, and start trying to get in his head to figure out what he may be thinking or feeling. We completely stop focusing on ourselves and start micromanaging him. We start taking the LEAD. This of course only makes things worse. He starts to pull away even more. Many women then work even harder, and this vicious cycle continues and repeats itself over and over again with different partners.
We wonder what went wrong and why it didn’t work out. Why did he stop trying? Why did he pull away or lose interest?
If we want a relationship where he is taking the lead, and making things happen, it is crucial that a woman be in her FEMININE. When a woman is taking action and doing some or all of the things mentioned above SHE is in her masculine. The man is no longer the one leading but has retreated and left the deflated ball on the floor.
When a woman is in her feminine, She is soft, present, trusting, and living in the MOMENT. She is grateful and is comfortable expressing gratitude! She is able to receive and is not in action mode. The feminine is able to see who a man is and how he shows up without trying to force him to do or be anything that he isn’t or isn’t ready for. She trusts that if he is the man for her, then it has to come from HIM, and if he isn’t, then she knows that she will be ok. She won’t settle for anything less than what she deserves. She knows that he has to take the lead and if he doesn’t then she gets to decide if she is ok with that or not. Perhaps most importantly, She is not trying to control things.
This then OFTEN inspires a man to become the man of her dreams as he knows she is not scared to lose him! She shows this through action not through words. HE can feel this! This translates very powerfully and requires no conversation. When we put our feelings first and are authentic to ourselves, he can feel this, understand, respect, and feels safe around it. There is no resentment building, no fear taking over, but instead the ability to take care of ourselves and handle strong emotions!
I remember I used to want to talk about everything vs. show through my actions. As I learned to truly be authentic and put myself first, I had nothing I needed to talk about. My man started stepping by up, cherishing my feelings, taking action to move things forward. I felt amazing! I went from taking crumbs to feeling like a queen. We both became happy and inspired! I didn’t have to go make anything happen, figure it out, plan, strategize, etc.
I focused on being in the moment. I also focused on how to make myself happy so I wasn’t giving that power to anyone else but myself. As he felt me from my feminine energy, he felt safer and more connected. He started to cherish my feelings and step up.
When we take responsibility for ourselves and how we feel without putting that responsibility on anyone else, we truly empower ourselves. We don’t come from that place of fear but become strong on the inside to determine if he is the man for us. This is what is amazing about coming from our feminine energy and what allows us to be treated like a Queen!