I will often have women reach out to share that their husband or committed partner is cheating and they don’t know what to do.
This is completely devastating and it feels like our world is crashing down on us.
What do we do if he’s cheating, yet we’re still committed to the relationship and we don’t want to end it?
This is the first aspect we want to explore.
Is he worth staying with after cheating and lying? This is a very personal question, and honestly the answer is going to be different for every woman.
Start with exploring the “why” behind the decision to stay or go…
We always want our “why” to come from an empowered space within us.
That space where we know deep down that we’re worthy, deserving, and completely capable of having the love we want. That no matter what, betrayal isn’t okay, and no matter how “difficult” things have been, we don’t deserve to have that trust broken.
Sometimes this means making a clean break, and creating opportunities to invite a new man in energetically and have a fresh start.
Sometimes it also means facing our current situation, and deciding from a deeper space within us to rebuild a broken relationship. Opening our heart even though we’re completely raw, outraged, and disgusted. Yes, we can do both at the same time!
If I’m working with a woman and she chooses to stay, it starts with facing the truth…all of it.
No longer pretending to be okay when she’s not, and consciously choosing to love herself more than the relationship. No longer blaming herself, or holding herself to a standard of being perfect.
If we react only from our pain- desire to hurt him as bad as he hurt us type of thing, it only makes an extremely challenging situation worse, so it’s first about feeling into and identifying what it is we need to share, writing it down, taking control of ourselves, and owning it.
Choosing to share our truth in a way where he can really hear it.
When we speak from our heart and share our emotional experience to what’s occurred, instead of telling him what a horrible human he is, a man can hear us.
There is so much power in this, no more stuffing emotions down and holding everything in. Releasing and sharing from an empowered space, one of self control, high value, and honoring ourselves first.
How do we get him back and restore our sense of self worth, self love, and self respect?!
This is about a woman learning how to put herself first, filling her own cup until it’s full, and feeling so good to be around, he doesn’t know which way to go. A woman can energetically win him back and recover after an affair if she decides that’s what she wants.
There’s no drama, no fighting, just a clear shift that something’s different.
Four Things A Woman Can Do When Another Woman’s Involved:
1. The first thing a woman needs to change when there’s another woman involved, is her vibe. We want to change this quickly, so he feels this shift right away!
When he’s cheating, he’s likely very used to a certain pattern and level of predictability in the relationship.
When a woman changes that, and starts showing up lighter, softer, and less predictable– he’ll notice this.
It will make him curious and drawn to her.
It will start to bring attraction back.
A woman doesn’t need to go away, go out of town, or leave in order for him to feel this shift.
She simply needs to start taking care of herself right there in her usual environment.
It will feel totally different for him.
Her vibe will be softer and he won’t feel any of the old anger or negativity.
Suddenly, he’s without an available excuse to blame her for his actions and cheating.
2. Get Past The Anger
The fastest way I have found for a woman to get past her anger, is to stop doing anything extra in the relationship.
The more we as women do to “manage” the relationship, the more anger and resentment we start to feel.
When we quit doing all of that, and put that focus on ourselves, we start to feel empowered and strong.
We start to restore our own value, and find our way out from being completely lost in the relationship.
We start learning how to love ourselves more than the relationship.
When we replace the anger with an authentic sweetness filled with smiles, softness, self-worth, and feeling messages-we are on the right track!
We do this while creating space for him to move towards us, and inspire him to fix the situation on his own.
3. Create Some Mystery
When’s the last time you put yourself first?
Perhaps changed your hair, your makeup, or clothes?
When is the last time you decided to wear something different, or treat yourself to something new that feels really good for you?
This will get his attention and he won’t know why.
This doesn’t have to be anything drastic, just something that feels good to you, and gently moves you out of your typical routine. Don’t worry about what he thinks, this is about you!
When we put that energy back on us, we start to feel beautiful and inspired to take care of ourselves in a new way.
4. Let Go Of Managing The Relationship
When another woman’s involved it’s easy to go into our masculine energy. Our instinct will be to try to fix it, manage it, and force an outcome.
We want to bring awareness to the urge to do something, and get the focus back onto ourselves.
This is about really changing up the routine with something new, exciting, and even something that feels a bit scary.
This could be an acting class, dance class, improv class, public speaking class, etc.
When we get out there and make ourselves try new things, we can’t help but force ourselves into being present and living in the moment.
We’ll have something authentically occupying us, and he’ll feel that you’re no longer waiting or available at any given moment.
He will start to feel that he has to work to keep you, and motivated to fix the mess of the situation he’s created.
If you’re in a situation where he’s cheating, cheated, or another woman’s involved- I’m confident I can help you.
We can get started on creating changes quickly to change the course of relationship.